In the morning, I felt so very exhausted. I felt hope until I opened my phone. I felt confusion and hurt when I didn’t see what I wanted. I felt stress about the looming day ahead of me. I felt guilt. I felt hunger. I felt pressure to perform. I felt rushed to get to class. I felt excited about budding new friendships. I felt grateful to be at such a wonderful school. I felt promise in my own future. I felt frustration for my continuing health issues being a nuisance in every day life. I felt disappointed. I felt stupid. I felt like I wasn’t worth any effort. I felt overly sensitive and self critical. I felt angry. I felt too angry. I felt angry at myself for being so angry. I felt anxiety to hide my emotions. I felt awkward. I felt happy. I felt overwhelmed. I felt young and small. I felt beautiful and cool. I felt talented. I felt good for helping people. I felt bad for upsetting people. I felt terrible sadness and exhaustion. I felt relief. I felt regret. I felt confused. I fell asleep.
Aw thanks for the question, I never get messages on here anymore. I am not entirely sure where I’m headed. I just started my two year program at ASU to get a bachelors in communication and I am thinking of a minor in Public Relations. I’m also considering graphic design as a minor but I don’t know yet. I would love to get into advertising or PR. I also am hoping to continue making art and creating as a way to make money but not as a main income source. I plan to use the field I am going into as a way to learn to market myself and my amazingly talented boyfriend. (Check out his photography!) And if I am already this deep I might as well share my dream of writing a children’s book and having it published. These are things I’m currently working on. I absolutely adore children, I love working with them at my current job. So yes, I do want kids. I’m sorry if I went into way too much detail, the future is something that has been on my mind a lot lately and I appreciate the curiosity!
I didn’t fall in love with you.
I walked into love with you, with my eyes wide open, choosing to take every step along the way.
I do believe in fate and destiny, but I also believe we are only fated to do the things that we’d choose anyway.
And I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you."